It turns out that counting to ten before responding in anger, or any emotion, has scientific validity.
The Amygdala part of the brain, is the integrative center for emotions, emotional behavior, and motivation. It reacts to triggers before the frontal lobe of the cerebral cortex part of the brain, responsible for reasoning, kicks in, which may take 10 seconds. Therefore, counting to ten gives you time to respond rather than react to a stimulus.
Robert Plutchik created the wheel of emotions in order to illustrate the various relationships among the emotions.
The intensity of emotion decreases as you move outward and increases as you move toward the wheel’s center. The intensity of the emotion is indicated by the color. The darker the shade, the more intense the emotion, therefore, anger at its least level of intensity is annoyance, but at its highest, anger becomes rage.
Be slow to speak and slow to anger. (James 1:19, 20), Reckless words pierce, but the tongue of the wise heals. (Proverbs 12:18)
The next time you are tempted to hurl sticks and stones, count to ten–save your blood pressure, a friendship and possibly a marriage.
Most people express anger in one of five ways.
The avoider buries anger. They insist that it takes a lot for them to get angry and that it is better not to get mad, but eventually they explode at the smallest infraction because anger builds.
Passive-aggressives don’t get mad–they get even without ever showing that they are or were angry. They may withhold whatever the other person wants, use the silent treatment or become stubborn and difficult.
The exploder blows his top, rages at everyone in sight then forgets about it and wonders why people are upset with him.
The retaliator deliberately plans when they will become anger. The use anger as a weapon to get what they want. They use it to control, manipulate, threaten and overpower others.
The high-seeker is addicted to the strong feelings that come with anger. They pick fights to get a high–it gives them a rush and a sense of power.
What is anger?
God’s Way to deal with anger:
This is what anger does to the child in each of us.
Most people handle anger in one of five ways.
Isn’t it better to act in positive, loving ways rather than react?
We can deal with anger in healthy ways by:
Watch for the things that trigger our anger
We have options.
Which will you choose?