Tag Archive | domestic violence

New Book Released

Break Free From Every Abuse, Healing Manual

Break Free from every Abuse Healing Manual cover

Covers:

  • Abuse and the law
  • Sex Abuse
  • Human Sex Trafficking
  • Domestic violence
  • Date-rape
  • Elder Abuse
  • Effects of abuse
  • Why people commit crimes
  • Healing is for everyone
  • Getting to healing and wholeness
  • Healing and miracles
  • Know the father’s love for you
  • Prayer essentials
  • God’s promises
  • Receive your healing
  •  Heaven   on Earth

Available on Amazon

Does God Want Me to Stay in Abuse?

Christian victims of domestic violence face the same hurdles to leaving an abusive relationship as do other victims, but they also have religious or biblical concerns, which make it difficult even getting to the stage of admitting abuse is happening without fearing ‘eternal condemnation’. We may also ask ourselves whether our experience within the relationship is what God intended for us.

One of the main dilemmas facing the victim of abuse and the Church leaders and/or members when dealing with the perpetrator of Domestic Violence, is the question of Forgiveness. Should we forgive the abuser unconditionally? How do we tell if repentance has taken place? Should the acts be forgiven and forgotten? For the victim, is it her/his duty to forgive each incident, act as though nothing had happened and continue to put herself/himself at risk from the abuser? Do we need to be forgiven ourselves and is that forgiveness available to us?

Many victims of abuse turn to their church leader for advice on how to deal with the abuse, whether it is acceptable in the sight of the Lord to leave the abuser, is divorce an option which is acceptable to the Lord, can the Church help to stop the abuse, hold the abuser accountable, help to protect the victim and children? How should clergy respond? Spiritual abuse found within the context of domestic violence stems directly from misunderstanding and false premises.

Source: HiddenHurt

 

What about Religion & Domestic Violence?

Religion and Domestic Violence

Why consider the religious or spiritual issues of Religion and Domestic Violence? Because these are fundamental not only to the believing victim and abuser as well as their Church, but also to all those who live in a culture which is largely based upon Christian moral values and traditions.

Religious people across all denominations are not exempt from Domestic Abuse, however, there appears to be a serious lack of understanding regarding abuse and the dynamics of abusive relationships and their impact upon the lives of people involved within churches and denominations generally.

When considering Religion and Domestic Violence we have to realize that religious or spiritual factors are central to the victim’s understanding and response. His/her own faith and the support of Church members can be vital in helping the healing process, while a lack of understanding regarding the Biblical perspective on abusive relationships by the victim or those he/she turns to for spiritual guidance and support can add to the emotional, physical and financial hurdles already faced.

Many women in abusive relationships feel they ought to submit to their husbands out of duty, that they have no right over their own body, life or even opinions. Quite often this misconception is furthered by advice from clergy, elders, rabbis or other members of the Church or congregation. Some men may feel trapped by their beliefs in an abusive relationship, unsure of their position towards their wives or girl-friends.

Often quotations or excerpts from the Bible are used to justify abusive behavior or the suppression by one member of the household of another. This in itself is a form of spiritual abuse.

From: Hidden Hurt

Witnessing Domestic Violence as a Child

Daisy and her siblings were children witnessing abuse on their mother by their step-father. An effect of children witnessing domestic abuse was that her brother then committed further sexually inappropriate behavior towards both his sisters, including Daisy. This is her story:

I was about 8 years old when it all started to happen. My mom married a guy named Harry. She thought he was a nice fellow, I guess. Eventually he became abusive to her. Me, my sister, and brother would witness it. They would always fight and we hated it. I remember thinking while walking home from school that I wished they wouldn’t be home because they were most likely fighting. I remember watching him beat her. He would punch her and she would fall. He would slap her or call her names. He would always push her around.

Every trip we went on turned out to be crap because he would always start problems and we weren’t very happy. The thing I remember the most is one night watching them fight while I was standing in the bathroom and they were in the hall. I don’t exactly remember what they were fighting about, but I saw him punch her and she fell to the ground. When she was on the ground he kept punching her about 5 times and then he left. I didn’t know where he went, but I do remember my brother calling the cops and them not even doing anything about it.

When I turned 10, my brother started sexually abusing me. He manipulated me into thinking that it was okay, that every brother and sister do that. I was young and stupid and I didn’t know. It took me 6 years to tell my mom that he did that. Actually, he did it to me and my sister. We told our mom when we decided to run away. We left a note that explained everything and we were gone for 3 days.

Eventually she found us at a homeless shelter. When we got home we talked about what had happened and we got the cops involved. My brother went to jail for a little while, but not long. He hasn’t done it ever since then and I’m glad.

I read these types of stories a lot and they all eventually work out well if you tell someone. The hurt and pain goes away and it gets better.

Now I have a 6 month old little brother that I treat as my own and I love him very much. I’m thankful for everything that has happened because it has made me a stronger person.

~ Daisy

from: HiddenHurt

Domestic Violence & Child Abuse true story

Tiffany’s Child Abuse and Domestic Violence Story

from Hidden Hurt


Tiffany tells her story of child abuse and domestic violence, from a sexually abusive father and the mother who failed to protect her and her sisters, through teens of suffering further molestation and shows how not just her experiences of relationships but also the advice by those who should care for her pushed her into a further domestic violence relationship:

Ever since I can remember I had never had the love or attention of my parents. My mom was more worried about looking pretty and making sure my dad wasn’t cheating on her than her 3 daughters …

My oldest sister was 15, the other one that followed was 14 and I was 7, I also had a 2 year old little brother at the time. My “Father” had been abusing my two sisters all their life. He started raping them when they each turned 13. My sisters showed and told my mother what was going on … they would show her their bloody privates but she never cared – or I guess her marriage to a sick man was more important than the well being of her daughters.

I was very young, all I remember was one incident of him on top of me and my mom saying he should stop because he was going to suffocate me, I was crying. I have no other memories of my childhood. none at all. He died that year 1987. He did scar us forever. My sisters have not been able to have a normal relationship ever since and neither had I until I found Jesus.

After my Dad died we moved to my mother’s hometown in Mexico with my grandmother and uncle, aunts and lots of cousins. Soon after we arrived, one of my male cousins who was 13 at the time started abusing me: he would touch my breasts and my private part. It went on for years, until I was 13. At around 10 years old my other cousin who was about 19 at the time started tongue kissing me and grabbing me and rubbing himself on me.

We finally moved to the States after that, to Chicago. And my mom’s Puerto rican boyfriend started to touch me too. Again no one did anything about it. I felt like no one cared.

I was told that I could use my body as a weapon to get what I wanted. my grandmother told me I should be a stripper or a high class prostitute. is there such thing? My mother said I should just look for rich old guys and take their money for sex. It was no surprise I ended up going off with a 43 year old rich man when I was only 17 after my own mother’s advise. It only lasted 4 months and I came back home with a child in me. My most beautiful treasure. My wonderfully smart boy! God meant for him to be born, and I love him very much.

My son was two years old when I met who I thought was my prince charming! He was handsome, polite, smart and sooo nice to me. We moved in together after 6 months of dating. Right after that he started abusing me. He used to call me names from slut, prostitute, stupid, ugly, he said I was good for nothing and the only reason he was with me was so I could clean the house and he could have sex with me. He said he was too lazy to masturbate so he might as well use me. After a while, I actually believed him: I believed that I was ugly, stupid, dumb, that I couldn’t do anything right. I didn’t have his permission to speak to my mom, or any family member, I had no friends. I tried committing suicide twice, but the thought of my son being alone made me think twice and Thanks to My wonderful God I never made it happened.

Two years after we got together, we had a beautiful baby girl, and I thought that would change him – it didn’t. He would choke me, push me, slap me, rape me. It lasted 8 horrible years.

I can say now that he was wrong! That I AM a good woman, I AM smart and I CAN do it all! I have given my life to Jesus, prayed for a wonderful husband which God has granted me. I have met the most amazing man in the world! Who cherishes me, takes good care of me, loves me and lets me know day by day he does; he loves my children and I’m very happy to say we are expecting a baby boy and getting married very soon. ALL THANKS TO GOD!

Please don’t let no one treat you that way, God meant for us to live happy in victory and in His presence. NO ONE deserves to live in fear, abused by no one. Make a stop to this as soon as you can, a man that has always beaten you or abused you verbally will NOT change. GET OUT! You deserve to be HAPPY.

~ Tiffany

Celebrity Victims of Abuse

Celebrity Victims of Abuse

by Linda Irene

Http://www.Writelindairene.wordpress.com

 

Domestic violence comes in many forms—emotional, verbal, sexual or physical. It can be against a man, woman or child. Some of the richest, most famous and most powerful people in the world have been affected by domestic abuse.

 

Domestic violence is no laughing matter. Anyone affected by abuse has had their self-esteem and self-confidence stolen from them. They spend many years trying to overcome, rebuild and restore some sense purpose and meaning to their lives. People of celebrity are not immune. Below is just a partial list of those whose lives have been affected by abuse. The most recent is that of Janay Palmer–Mrs. Ray Rice.

 

Victims of abuse not only stay with their abusers, they typically defend them and their behavior. If you, or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship know this: A leopard does not change his spots. You cannot change him or her. You can only change yourself and your reaction to him/her. The more you try to ‘understand’ and forgive, the longer you perpetuate the situation. The only hope you have of salvaging the relationship, if that is what you want, is to make the abuser accountable. It’s called tough love. Tough love is not only for wayward teens. It’s for wayward spouses, etc. as well. Get the support of others, including pastors, counselors and others who are experienced with effectively handling abuse cases, to stand with you, guide and direct you. First and foremost, do whatever it takes to keep yourself and your children safe.

 

  1. Janay Palmer RiceRay Ricewas let go by the Ravens on Monday and suspended indefinitely by the NFL after a video was released that appears to showthe running back punching his then-fiancée, knocking her out. (espn)
  2. Diane Lane– In 2004, actress Diane Lane was alleged to have been the victim of domestic abuse after accusing her husband John Brolin of attacking her. As is often the case, she later dropped charges against him.
  3. Former President Bill Clinton – According to his autobiography, he experienced frequent violent outbursts by his stepfather, Roger, from the time he was 8 years old until he was 15, when he warned Roger never to hit his mother or half-brother ever again.
  4. Halle Berry – In 2004 she admitted to having been hit so hard by one of her ex-boyfriends that she lost the hearing in her right ear. She also revealed that her mother had also been a victim of domestic abuse.
  5. Madonna – Charged her then husband, Sean Penn with domestic violence in 1988.
  6. Mariah Carey – In 2009 Carey admitted she had been the victim of emotional and mental abuse.
  7. Rihanna – Was assaulted by Chris Brown with visible bruises on her face. Brown revealed his mother had been physically abused by his stepfather.
  8. Whitney Houston – Bobby Brown was arrested in 2003 for misdemeanor battery.
  9. Pamela Anderson – Tommy Lee, the Mötley Crüe member, served 4 months in jail for domestic abuse against Anderson.
  10. Phil Hartman – The former Saturday Night Livestar was murdered by his wife, Brynn, as he lay sleeping in their LA home in 1998. Brynn later shot herself.
  11. Tina Turner – Her husband Ike is portrayed in the film, What’s Love Got To Do With It, as a violent, controlling sociopath. The singer suffered severe beatings, rape and had cigarettes stubbed out on her body. (weinbergerlawgroup)
  12. Robin Givens – Givens has spoken openly about her abusive relationship with boxer Mike Tyson.
  13. Charlize Theron – Theron lived with an abusive, alcoholic father who threatened to kill her and her mother. When Charlize was 15, her mother, Gerda, shot and killed her father in self-defense.
  14. Nicole Brown – Nicole Brown was found murdered at her home in 1994. All eyes turned to her ex-husband O.J. Simpson, who had pleaded no contest to domestic violence in 1989.
  15. LaToya Jackson – Jackson married her manager Jack Gordon in 1987. LaToya later claimed the abusive marriage hit rock bottom after Gordon beat her unconscious and left her for dead. They divorced in 1997. LaToya urges other women, “If he hits you once, I promise you, he will hit you again, so please walk away.” (com)
  16. Tyler Perry – In 2009, Perry recounted a horrific list of beatings and  sexual molestations by a number of adults, male and female.
  17. Oprah Winfrey – In 1986, while doing a show with sexual abuse victims and their molesters, Winfrey revealed to her audience that she had been raped by a relative when she was 9 years old, which continued until she was 13. In an interview with David Letterman, Winfrey said, “Anybody who has been verbally or physically abused will spend a great deal of their life rebuilding their esteem.” (ABCNews)