Most people express anger in one of five ways.
- The avoider.
- The passive-agressive.
- The exploder.
- The retaliator.
- The high-seeker.
The avoider buries anger. They insist that it takes a lot for them to get angry and that it is better not to get mad, but eventually they explode at the smallest infraction because anger builds.
Passive-aggressives don’t get mad–they get even without ever showing that they are or were angry. They may withhold whatever the other person wants, use the silent treatment or become stubborn and difficult.
The exploder blows his top, rages at everyone in sight then forgets about it and wonders why people are upset with him.
The retaliator deliberately plans when they will become anger. The use anger as a weapon to get what they want. They use it to control, manipulate, threaten and overpower others.
The high-seeker is addicted to the strong feelings that come with anger. They pick fights to get a high–it gives them a rush and a sense of power.
What is anger?
- Anger is an emotional response to personal violations–when we don’t get what we want, or when our expectations are not met, etc.
- Not all anger is bad.
- We should be stirred to anger when we see injustices.
- Unresolved anger raises blood pressure and other health issues.
God’s Way to deal with anger:
- Don’t let the sun go down on your anger
- Pray about your anger. Ask God for clarity as to the root cause to deal with that issue.
- Communicate. Talk things through when everyone’s emotions have calmed down.
- Ask God for healing of unresolved, stored anger from past wounds to experience love, joy and peace.
DAILY CHOOSE LIFE
By Linda Irene
Has joy gone out of your life? Has life become a maze of endless responsibility? Have you lost interest and enthusiasm in doing things you once enjoyed? Do you wake up in the morning dreading another day? If you answered yes to any one of these—then it is time to choose life. Here’s how:
- Don’t allow the busyness of life to swallow you up. Take charge of your life. Do some soul-searching to determine what is important to you. What brings sizzle into your being? If you are not doing that which makes your soul click its heels together in a vivacious dance of glee, you have temporarily lost your way and are in danger of drowning in the sea of responsibility. Throw yourself a life raft and hop aboard.
- Plan your days. Instead of letting your days happen to you, decide ahead of time what you want to accomplish with your day. Make a list if a list helps you organize and stick to your plan.
- There must be balance between job, family and social responsibilities and having ‘you’ time. You time is essential for your overall health and well-being. Do one thing every day that makes you smile on the outside and jiggle with laughter on the inside. It could be as simple as enjoying a hazelnut coffee from Starbucks if that is what brings you pleasure.
- Schedule playtime. If you have been saying to yourself, “I would love to do (fill in the blank), when I have some free time,” but free time never seems to come—pencil in your free time—daily. Free time could be as little as fifteen minutes that you take for yourself to daydream, ponder, enjoy a sunset or the night skies—anything that takes you out of do, do, do, mode to aaah mode.
- Allow yourself to enjoy life. Sometimes people mistakenly believe that taking ‘me’ time is selfish. If that describes you—consider this: when preparing for take-off, the flight attendant gives instructions regarding the unlikely event of losing cabin pressure. She says, “An oxygen mask will appear. First place the mask on yourself then on your children or others requiring assistance.” Why? Because if you do not take care of yourself—you cannot help others. Likewise, if we do not take the time to fill our lives with the little things that fill us up with joy, we are working with an empty vessel, unable to give to others what they need until we fill our vessel with all the goodies that make us come alive. Me time is not selfish—it is imperative.
- Begin today. What will you do today to give yourself the gift of abundant, joyful living?