Tag Archive | marriage

Count to Ten

It turns out that counting to ten before responding in anger, or any emotion, has scientific validity.

The Amygdala part of the brain, is the integrative center for emotions, emotional behavior, and motivation. It reacts to triggers before the frontal lobe of the cerebral cortex part of the brain, responsible for reasoning, kicks in, which may take 10 seconds. Therefore, counting to ten  gives you time to respond rather than react to a stimulus.

Robert Plutchik created the wheel of emotions in order to illustrate the various relationships among the emotions.


The intensity of emotion decreases as you move outward and increases as you move toward the wheel’s center. The intensity of the emotion is indicated by the color. The darker the shade, the more intense the emotion, therefore, anger at its least level of intensity is annoyance, but at its highest, anger becomes rage.

Be slow to speak and slow to anger. (James 1:19, 20),  Reckless words pierce, but the tongue of the wise heals.  (Proverbs 12:18)

The next time you are tempted to hurl sticks and stones, count to ten–save your blood pressure, a friendship and possibly a marriage.

Plutchik Wheel of Emotions

Low Hanging Fruit

Low Hanging Fruit


Don’t pick the low hanging fruit! Low hanging fruit is low to the ground and within easy reach. Anyone can choose low hanging fruit because of its abundance. Low hanging fruit is…well…available. The only benefit of availability is immediate gratification.  Aim higher.

Look up. See that succulent piece of fruit at the top of the tree? It’s prime quality; fully developed, rounded, balanced, and delicious. It’s taken its time to ripen and has all the qualities you’ve been looking for, and it’s waiting for you.

Don’t accept available fruit; wait…focus on that one piece of fruit that caught your eye at the top, then place your ladder securely at the base of the tree and reach for it. Reach until it is firmly in your hand.

Remember this analogy when choosing a husband or wife. Don’t be quick to settle for available with instant satisfaction when you can have a lifetime of pleasure if you are willing to do the work.  Know the qualities you want, keep focused and choose prime. It will be worth the work and the wait.

pic source: treelovers